LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

K_Cat wrote:Well, I reached 2Mm at 11:56am, so I'm guessing you actually got there first, Jill. I'm just not a morning person. (Which is why I made sure I had a round number yesterday: no simple arithmetic before noon!)

Happy Two Million Meters! Woo-hoo!
Finished my row at about 3pm our time but until I downloaded the metres, they were obviously still floating around out there in the virtual ether somewhere ... Besides, you were ahead of me anyway so it was only right that you arrived first. :D

Happy Two Million Metres to you too Peggy. Whoop :!: Whoop :!: Whoop :!: :fsbgrin:
K_Cat wrote:And *clink* go the teacups!
Absolutely, or as we say in this country, " Bottoms up. " :lol:

PS - My cunning Plan A to disappear into the garage after supper, worked. When I came back indoors, Richard had loaded up the dishwasher. [-o< :lol: :wink:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Paul Victory »

As season millionaire scrutineer, I am officially declaring a dead heat. :mrgreen: Well done ladies. =D> =D> =D>
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by K_Cat »

Thanks for an impartial report, Paul! The finish line was passed, now let the party begin! :lol:

Wait, my cat says I still have more to row today. :? :cry: Okay, my piece of cake will still be there when I'm done, right? RIGHT?! :roll: I think my cake is going to be sporting some tiny paw prints by the time I get to it... [-X :lol:

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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by K_Cat »

Well, I drank a big pot of blueberry tea and finally had my piece of cake too. It was delicious. I hope you had some cake too, Jill, as you have certainly burned enough calories the last few days! Cheers! :fsbgrin:

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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by CamiCrew »

Congrats ladies! =D>
-barbara

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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Wolfmiester »

well done ladies, sterling effort/s =D> =D>
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

Thank you Paul. :D

Thank you Barbara. :D

Thank you Steve. :D
K_Cat wrote:Wait, my cat says I still have more to row today.
I’m guessing here, but I’d say that was accompanied by ‘ Cat Expression ‘ No 16, possibly 17 … :lol:
K_Cat wrote:Okay, my piece of cake will still be there when I'm done, right? RIGHT?! I think my cake is going to be sporting some tiny paw prints by the time I get to it...
Definitely ‘ Cat Expression ‘ No 23. :lol:

Had a cheese scone with butter. Most of the time I stay off the sweet stuff … So, over the Christmas and New period, who ate ( rationed to one piece a day ) all the Turkish Delight :?: :oops: :roll: :lol:

Peggy, I checked out the Metreboard this morning … Nothing wrong with your motivation. =D> :fsbgrin:

Take care everyone. :)

Be it fast or slow
Enjoy your row :fsbgrin:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

Hello Mb, you’re looking very pleased with yourself.

Jill, I’ve worked out who’s responsible for the theft of all your Pink Stars. :D

You have :?:

Yes. It’s quite obvious to anyone with half a brain. 8)

Mb, are you saying that you only have half a brain :?: :lol: :wink:

Very funny. :roll: [-X No, I’m saying that I not only know the name of the culprit but also how the crime was carried out. It was an inside job :!:

An inside job Mb :!: But that means …

Yes Jill. Plummy :!:

:shock: :shock: :shock:

To be continued … ( As long as Mb and I can think up some more nonsense :lol: :wink: )

Jill and Mb :)
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by CamiCrew »

Jill sounds like you're shaping up a new detective series: Meterboard Mysteries, first installment -- The Pink Star Heist.

So... I see your pink stars there on the millionaires log. Does this mean they've been returned?

Plummy would certainly be the first guess for an inside job, but that's too obvious. He must be covering for someone else... :fsbgrin: :-({|= :fsbgrin: (mystery music)
-barbara

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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

CamiCrew wrote:Jill sounds like you're shaping up a new detective series: Meterboard Mysteries, first installment -- The Pink Star Heist.
I am but unfortunately, I think it will be savaged by the critics and bomb after this first series, in which case, The Meterboard Mystery might be more apt. :lol: I did toy with the idea of calling it The Pink Star Caper but The Pink Star Heist is much better, so let's go with that. :D
CamiCrew wrote:So... I see your pink stars there on the millionaires log. Does this mean they've been returned?

Plummy would certainly be the first guess for an inside job, but that's too obvious. He must be covering for someone else... (mystery music)
I can't comment on this without giving the plot away. :-#

Eh, Jill, what plot. :lol:

Shut up Mb. All will be revealed ... Eventually ... [-o< :lol:

Barbara, one thing's for certain, You're not a suspect, although you might be an accomplice perhaps ... :wink:

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Two
Jill wrote:An inside job Mb But that means …
Jill wrote:Yes Jill. Plummy
That's a very serious accusation; can you explain a motive, do you have proof :?: After all a man is innocent until proved guilty.

There are two strong motives; as for proof, when we were playing Cluero the other evening, and looking at all the characters, ( a nefarious bunch ) it suddenly came to me, who Plummy really is. Confront him with his real identity and he'll crack.

Mb, playing Cluedo has given me some ideas as well; the fact that the other characters are a villainous mob, means that they can't be ruled out as suspects either, so before you proceed with your evidence against Plummy, let's take a look at the other possible wrongdoers.

They're all waiting for us in the library :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow: :arrow:

To be continued ...
Last edited by Jill on Sat Mar 19, 2016 9:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by plummy »

Do your worst - I'll never crack, no matter what you threaten me with 8-[

Wasn't me guv'nor- honest :shock:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

plummy wrote:Do your worst - I'll never crack, no matter what you threaten me with

Wasn't me guv'nor- honest
Plummy, as a member of the Forum Police, I’m surprised at you, aiding and abetting me in this taradiddle or ( for Barbara’s benefit ) cockamamie story. [-X :lol: :wink:
plummy wrote:Do your worst
We’ll certainly do our best … Let’s start with this.

Mb, have you polished up your canoe paddles :?:

I have Jill. :D

“ Book him Dano. Da da da da dah dah. Da da da da dah. “ :roll: :lol: :wink:

Plummy, hang onto your rowing shorts, you could be in for a bumpy ride, as we step back through the portal and into the Realm of The Ridiculous. :shock:

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Three

Last Time ...

" They're all waiting for us in the library ... "

:-({|= 8) :oops: \:D/ [-o< 8-[ :-? :~c

Mb, which of the characters is Plummy supposed to be :?:

Not supposed to be but is. Professor Plum. :-({|=

Why the violin :?:

Alec Guinness - Professor Marcus - ‘ The Ladykillers “. :x :lol: :wink:

Who are the other suspects :?:

Jill, not suspects [-X but extras.

8) Mr V :oops: Miss Scarlett \:D/ Colonel Mustard [-o< Reverend Green 8-[ Mrs White :? Mrs Peacock :~c Dutch The Doughnut.

Mb, just because Plummy’s surname is similar to a Cluero character, doesn’t mean that he is guilty of committing this heinous crime. You said there were two motives. What are they :?:

Okay Jill. Motive number one.

To be continued …
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Sheena »

Jill,

Someone close to me thinks you've named him as a suspect :shock: or should I say extra :wink:
He claims to have an alibi, he's been busy finding me an avatar :)

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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by CamiCrew »

Sheena... :lol: :lol: :lol: hilarious.

However that only accounts for one.

This could get complicated, Ms. Jill.... :fsbgrin: :shock: :fsbgrin:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

Sheena wrote:Someone close to me thinks you've named him as a suspect or should I say extra
He claims to have an alibi, he's been busy finding me an avatar
:lol: :lol: :lol: Brilliant =D>

Sheena, any halfway decent mystery must contain some red herrings … Oh. Wait. I’ve just remembered. #-o This isn’t going to be a halfway decent mystery. :lol:

It's funny how this person is offering an alibi when they haven't been asked for one. :-k Mmmm ... Also, an alibi isn't any good if it has already been eaten by someone ... :wink:
CamiCrew wrote:This could get complicated, Ms. Jill....


Could get complicated, Barbara :?: :lol:

No worries. Have faith. I've worked out who ' done it '. :fsbgrin:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Four
Jill wrote:Okay Jill. Motive number one.
Mb, I hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to have to listen to some of your crackpot and far-fetched theories :?:

I’ll ignore that remark. :roll:

Motive number one:

All the Stars are precious and ‘ eyewateringly ‘ expensive, so fresh supplies are kept at a secret location, in a special vault, which for security, can only be opened by Plummy, using voice recognition. However, because the Pink Stars are extremely rare and therefore worth millions, it was decided to store them in a different vault with its own voice recognition, again set up by Plummy.

According to one of the security guards, a very flustered looking Plummy told him that to be seen collecting Pink Stars was embarrassing and a bit sissy. Not work for a man etc etc … Allegedly, when it came to setting up the voice recognition for the first time, at the very last moment, Plummy lost his nerve and said in a high girly voice, “ Davina Plumb “. Since then of course, every time Plummy wants to top up supplies, he has to say “ Davina Plumb “ in that silly voice before he can gain access to the vault. It’s rumoured that Plummy blames you and wants revenge - if he hadn’t given in to your outrageous demands for Pink Stars …

So, Plummy’s first motive is revenge - breaking in to his own safe and stealing your Stars.

Mb that doesn’t make sense; even if Plummy decided to steal my Stars, wouldn’t I say, “ Oh, Plummy, that’s awful but never mind, you can get some more from the vault. “

Plummy has no idea that you now know about the vault.

Mb I’m not convinced, all you’ve managed to produce so far is circumstantial evidence and not irrefutable proof.

Jill, bear with me and you’ll see that the second motive will fit neatly in with the first, just like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. :wink:

Motive number two:

Jill, have you seen Plummy’s pet hamster :?:

To be continued …
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by CamiCrew »

Jill - this is brilliant. The Davina Plumb paragraph in particular. :fsbgrin:
-barbara

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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

CamiCrew wrote:Jill - this is brilliant. The Davina Plumb paragraph in particular.
Thank you Barbara - only another 27 episodes to go. :fsbgrin: :fswink:

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Five
Jill wrote:Jill, have you seen Plummy’s pet hamster
Are you referring to Plummy’s rather cute looking avatar - perhaps he kept a hamster as a pet when he was a boy :?:

Yes I am Jill and let me assure you, there’s nothing at all cute about the beast …

When Plummy called us in after the robbery and whilst I was double checking the contents of the safe, I heard him say to you, “ I would love to go back to Boston next year with a Crash B hamster. “

Everything fell into place then - Plummy is planning to enter a giant Mancunian hamster, ( at one time thought to be extinct ) at the 2017 Crash B’s for giant hamsters :!:

:shock: :roll: Mb, I never drink spirits but I can always make an exception. Please excuse me for a moment, whilst I help myself to this bottle of whisky. Glug, glug, glug, glug - glug, glug, glug, glug glug - glug, glug, glug, glug - glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Hic :!:

Pleash gwon Mb Hic :!: Shient hamshster. Yesh? Hic :!:

Jill, I don’t think you’re taking this seriously enough … [-X

Mb, I don’t think I’m the only one … :lol: :wink:

[-( Humph ...

Sorry Mb. Explain away.

Giant Mancunian hamsters are dangerous animals - don’t be fooled by Plummy’s avatar. These fierce furries can grow to a height of 5 feet and weigh anything from 15 to 20 stone - the only way to control them and gain their trust is to keep feeding the creatures endless supplies of a local delicacy called Manchester tart. This confectionary is as much prized and sought after as a truffle, which makes it very expensive indeed …

Plummy is training/coaching the hamster - they love rowing - well, you try persuading a 20 stone cricentus cricentus giganticus to run inside a large plastic sphere. It must be costing Plummy a small fortune, so, here are the main things that I think he would have to spend shedloads of money on:

1. Hamster food including the cost of shipping it out to Boston.
2. Damage to his or any neighbour’s property if the hamster escaped.
3. Large escape proof accommodation for the hamster, here and in Boston.
4. An erg made of titanium - it would take an angry hamster ( usually if their sub3 2000k isn’t going
too well ) about 5 minutes to trash any other model.
5. All giant hamster racing is illegal - bribing the right sort of individuals to organise a race, which
would include a suitable venue, without the authorities finding out, doesn’t come cheap.
6. Any one caught giant hamster racing will be hit with huge fines.
7. A private plane, that will be able to take off from and land at a private airfield.
8. Hush money for the neighbours - see 2.
9. Enormous amounts of money for betting - the common giant hamster will never be a match against a
Mancunian.

So, Plummy’s second motive is financial - having stolen your Stars as revenge, ( motive number one ) he can now sell them ( he’ll have contacts ) to dealers and collectors for mega bucks in order to finance his racing ambitions for the hamster.

Mb, I think I’m losing the will to live - what was it I said to you earlier :?: Oh yes.
Jill wrote:Mb, I hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to have to listen to some of your crackpot and far-fetched theories
Mb this theory of yours has one very obvious snag … I’ll go and make us both a cup of tea and when I come back, I’ll not only prove to you that Plummy is innocent but why. :fsbgrin:

To be continued …
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by CamiCrew »

:D Giant hamsters is quite a plot twist :!: Jill if Meterboard Mysteries gets snapped up by an editor, you realize it'll be manuscripts and feature films and deciding who should get the theme park rights... you'll still need to find time to explain Plummy's innocence :wink:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

My alter ego Worrypuss is in residence at the moment. This silly saga is being written because of my affection for Free Spirits. I would be upset if anyone thought that my intention was to poke fun and ridicule.
CamiCrew wrote: Giant hamsters is quite a plot twist Jill if Meterboard Mysteries gets snapped up by an editor, you realize it'll be manuscripts and feature films and deciding who should get the theme park rights...
Barbara, are you offering to be my agent? :fsbgrin:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Six
Jill wrote:Mb this theory of yours has one very obvious snag … I’ll go and make us both a cup of tea and when I come back, I’ll not only prove to you that Plummy is innocent but why.
Yes, somebody did ‘ break ‘ into the safe but only because they knew how to open it using the keypad code. How many times have we warned Plummy about using that particular number combination :?: How many times have we nagged him to change it to a less obvious one, because any local villains or come to that, any villains, ( word soon gets around ) who knew about Plummy, could easily work out what it was :?:

In that case Jill, why didn’t Plummy just open the safe himself and then put the blame on some anonymous crook :?:

Mb, Plummy couldn’t because it would mean admitting that his obstinacy in refusing to listen to us, had led to the robbery. Have you met a man yet who’s willing to admit that he’s in the wrong :?: :wink: No, if Plummy had wanted to appear blameless, then he had to literally break into the safe.

As for your proof against Plummy, let’s look at the first motive: stealing my Stars as revenge.
You only have the security guard’s word that Plummy was angry and embarrassed - someone could have bribed him to say all those things …
Alternatively, Plummy may have re - discovered “ a rarely used pair of cajones “ ( page 3 of the February CTC thread ) and stared the guard down …
Plummy also strikes me as the sort of person, who, if unhappy about my request for Pink Stars, would have told me so in no uncertain terms. I took a crash course in Mancunian and this is what I think Plummy might have said …

“ I’m the Forum Dibble and I can’t be mithered with this :!: I’ve never heard such a load of old bobbins :!: Now, make me a brew, you daft ‘ apeth and stop your shriking because it’s peckin’ me ‘ead :!:

Loosely translated into the Queen’s English, that should read.

“ I’m the Forum Police and I can’t be bothered with this :!: I’ve never heard such a load of old rubbish :!: Now, make me a cup of tea, you silly woman and stop your crying because it’s annoying me :!:

:-k Mmmm ….
Jill wrote:Mb I’m not convinced, all you’ve managed to produce so far is circumstantial evidence and not irrefutable proof.
Change Mb for Jill and circumstantial for conjecture ...

Okay Mb, you’ve made your point. However I’m going to blow your claim, that Plummy’s second motive was financial, right out of the water.
When you were checking the contents of the safe, you didn’t hear Plummy say to me, “ I would love to go back to Boston next year with a Crash B hamster. “

What Plummy actually said was, “ I would love to go back to Boston and win a Crash B Hammer. “

“ Did you work that one out folks? “ :wink:

There, Mb, I rest my case. :fsbgrin:

A Crash B Hammer :?: Not a Crash B Hamster :?:

No, Mb.

Oh :!: #-o #-o #-o #-o

Jill, I think I’d better keep out of Plummy’s way for a while. Where is he by the way :?:

He’s busy at the moment but he’ll be here in time for the unmasking of the real culprit, so let’s take a look at our remaining suspects … In no particular order …

On second thoughts, let’s start with :~c Dutch The Doughnut. Judging by the desperate expression on his face, I think he’s in rather a hurry to leave the room. :wink:

To be continued …
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Seven
Jill wrote:On second thoughts, let’s start with Dutch The Doughnut. Judging by the desperate expression on his face, I think he’s in rather a hurry to leave the room.

He’s getting away :!: Stop him someone :!:

It’s okay Mb, Dutch isn’t going anywhere, apart from the gents. :lol: Anyway, he’s in the clear, so it’s not really necessary for him to be present.

Dutch is an Englishman who was originally known as Dutch The Diamond, an expert safe cracker and audacious diamond thief, who carried out the majority of his successful robberies in Amsterdam - hence the nickname.

It was well known to the police, that Dutch had a sweet tooth - sometimes, after a robbery and just to tease them, he’d pick the lock of a baker’s shop and help himself to one or two doughnuts. Gradually, Dutch’s fondness for doughnuts grew into a craving, until finally, he couldn’t go anywhere including the next robbery, without taking several huge bags of his favourite ' sugar rush ' with him. Dutch had developed a serious doughnut habit which very nearly proved to be his undoing.

After a tip off by an informant, ( who then tipped off Dutch ) the police staked out every bakers that sold Dutch’s particular ‘ fix ‘ - the round, squashy doughnuts that have a huge blob of raspberry jam in the middle and are covered in loads of sugar. =P~ :wink:

Jill, what a dilemma for poor old Dutch :!: He can’t carry out anymore robberies without a ‘ fix ‘ of doughnuts and he can’t buy anymore doughnuts without being arrested by the police. :( :cry:

Yes, Mb, Dutch had to take some drastic action in the form of aversion therapy using hypnosis. He only has to think of, or hear the word doughnut, let alone see one, to feel sick and going by the distressed look on his face as he shot past us on the way to the gents, I’d say that it’s working. :lol:

Although I can see why Dutch would be interested in my Pink Stars, this particular diamond thief has an alibi because when the robbery was taking place, he was at a private clinic undergoing his first session of aversion therapy.

That rules out Dutch then. So who’s next :?:

Mb, you choose.

If Professor Plum isn’t Plummy, then who is he :?:

Mb, I thought you would have worked that one out by now. :idea: :wink:

To be continued ...
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by CamiCrew »

:lol: :lol: :lol: Ah Jill. Too funny.

Just seems plausible to me that Dutch is fully capable of ducking out of his donut aversion therapy session with the help of an accomplice who has a fondness for baking pink star shaped cookies. In the movies when diamond thieves run off to bathrooms, they end up going out tiny windows. And I'm quite sure MB has noticed certain :fsbgrin: :fsbgrin: climbing the ladder at a steady and speedy pace. 8-[

But, if you're sure Dutch is reformed and working hard on his donut habit, I believe you :wink:
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

Jill wrote: Ah Jill. Too funny.
Thank you Barbara. :)
Jill wrote:Just seems plausible to me that Dutch is fully capable of ducking out of his donut aversion therapy session with the help of an accomplice who has a fondness for baking pink star shaped cookies. In the movies when diamond thieves run off to bathrooms, they end up going out tiny windows. And I'm quite sure MB has noticed certain climbing the ladder at a steady and speedy pace.

But, if you're sure Dutch is reformed and working hard on his donut habit, I believe you
Barbara, I can assure you that Dutch will stick with his doughnut aversion therapy - the ability to climb out of tiny bathroom windows again, should give you a clue as too why ... :lol: :wink:

We've both noticed the steady and rapid progress of :fsbgrin: and :fsbgrin: as they climb the Meterboard - 67 and 69 when we last looked - great teamwork. :D =D>

This morning, I saw on the CTC scoreboard, that a member of the Sub7 club had posted his time under the name of Mick Croissant. As to whether that's his real ( delicious ) name or not, I have no idea ... Made me smile though.

What next - Victoria Sponge or Sally Lunn :?: :lol: :wink:
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Jill
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Re: LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

Post by Jill »

CamiCrew wrote:Just seems plausible to me that Dutch is fully capable of ducking out of his donut aversion therapy session with the help of an accomplice who has a fondness for baking pink star shaped cookies. In the movies when diamond thieves run off to bathrooms, they end up going out tiny windows. And I'm quite sure MB has noticed certain climbing the ladder at a steady and speedy pace.

But, if you're sure Dutch is reformed and working hard on his donut habit, I believe you
:lol: :lol: :lol: Apologies Barbara, I missed off adding these.

Zoot started one of his replies to you with the words, " You're funny " He's right. :fsbgrin:
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