LADIES banter/training/motivation thread ??

[Sheena]

Jill, brilliant, can't wait for the next episode.

In the meantime, somebody close to me has been lying low Man Flu apparently but you may be on to something. I have to confess however that consumption of doughnuts has not gone down

Barbara, do I detect some suspicion of collusion

Jill, I think there may be some double agent in our midst. There seems to be a strange pink halo on someone's MB picture, is that hat hiding something pink

I'd better go, a Krispy Kreme van has just shown up

[CamiCrew]

Zoot started one of his replies to you with the words, " You're funny " He's right.

Jill he did say that, followed by "I assume the puns were intentional." I looked at my post and thought... what puns? Being unintentionally funny is probably not good.

Sheena - hope Jan is feeling better.

on the pink hat! That's my original FS pic, 2011. The hat is long gone But it would indeed make a good secret hiding place for stars.

Looking forward to the continuing saga, ms. Jill.

[Sheena]

Hi Barbara, thanks Jan is feeling better as he passed his germs on to me So I think any climbing up the MB will be short lived for a while at least. I thought we might catch you for a minute

That looks like the Grand Canyon in the background of your pic, our hols usually revolve around mountains, it's a very long time ago that we visited the GC and it was way too short a stay. Later this year we're off to the West Coast of Canada for the fourth time, the Rockies are great for walking in the spring. I really dislike flying however so we try to limit long haul flights.

Jill and Peggy, well done for completing the 10K Mud Season challenge, we just managed the 5K, maybe next time for the 10K as we're planning on having more free time next year

If I didn't have a cold I would be able to smell the onion soup that Jan is making to aid my recovery, that followed by strong coffee and chocolate should do the trick.

[Jill]

In the meantime, somebody close to me has been lying low Man Flu apparently but you may be on to something. I have to confess however that consumption of doughnuts has not gone dow

Sheena I’m very glad that this person close to you is feeling better - you were obviously plying them with plenty of that universal cure for Man Flu, tea and sympathy.

Although this person close to you was never a suspect - I admire their bravery and determination in forcing down so many doughnuts in order to prove their innocence. That must have been a terrible ordeal …

Sorry to hear that you are now suffering from a bout of Lady Flu - soup is definitely the universal cure for this, especially if Jan has gone to all the effort of making it for you.

You’ll soon be fighting fit and climbing back up the Meterboard.

Jill and Peggy, well done for completing the 10K Mud Season challenge,

Thank you. I began rowing just before the start of the 2014 Mud Season challenge and at the time was unaware of what it was - it took me a while to find out about all the different challenges. Peggy had posted on a thread, how much she was enjoying the Mud Season challenge and I remember thinking, “ Mud! Rowing! What the heck is this all about! “ Honestly Clueless.

Jill he did say that, followed by "I assume the puns were intentional." I looked at my post and thought... what puns?

Barbara, I thought that you were punning so

The hat is long gone But it would indeed make a good secret hiding place for stars.

Barbara, do you think that anyone has spotted the obvious clue there

Jill, brilliant, can't wait for the next episode

Looking forward to the continuing saga, ms. Jill.

Thank you both for egging me on - I must admit I've had a few wobbles along the way - in the mornings the whole thing seems like fun. By the evening when I'm tired it's, " For goodness sake, what are you doing ? " But ...

Darth Vader awaits me in the garage, then it will be back to the plot.

Mb, don’t even think it, let alone say it.

[Jill]

we just managed the 5K, maybe next time for the 10K as we're planning on having more free time next year

I'm sorry Sheena, I also meant to say well done to you and Jan for completing the Mud Season challenge - you both rowed 5k a day for 25 days last month =D> - not to be dismissed as " just managed ".

[Jill]

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Eight

The story so far ...

" If Professor Plum isn't Plummy, then who is he "

" Mb, I thought you would have worked that one out by now

Are you saying that Professor Plum is the culprit

No Mb … He’s the obligatory ‘ red herring ‘. Well, someone has to be and I bet folks, you’ll have worked that one out already …

Let’s move on and take a look at Mrs Peacock, the first of our three female suspects - once all fine safe crackers and diamond thieves, who for various reasons are also well known to the police.

Peacock by name and peacock by nature - peacocks/peahens are not very intelligent birds, in fact as well as being vain, they’re quite dim and these days, their namesake is no exception.

The police call this dear lady, ‘ Can’t help her selfie ‘ due to her habit of taking endless ‘ selfies ‘ during a robbery and then posting them on Facebook.

The police have given up arresting Mrs Peacock - it’s cheaper to check out Facebook everyday and when necessary recover any stolen diamonds straight away. According to the police, since the theft of my Pink Stars, our bird brained beauty, hasn’t posted any ‘ selfies ‘ on Facebook, so we can eliminate her from the list of suspects.

Are all the suspects diamond thieves and safecrackers

Yes they are Mb and somebody has been very clever in arranging for them all to be here at the same time …

Jill, can we check out Mr V next

Yes of course Mb.

Mr V - a cool customer and suspected by the police of being the mastermind behind the daring O’ceans Gang ...

To be continued …

[Rob C]

I know that this is supposedly a ladies thread, and blokes shouldn't intervene but .....

Can I have some of whatever Jill is on - or perhaps I'm better off without it

[Jill]

Can I have some of whatever Jill is on - or perhaps I'm better off without it

Dangerous talk Mr Cullen - I shouldn't be surprised if The O'ceans Gang decide to recruit a new member ...

[CamiCrew]

Rob - when Meterboard Mysteries goes big (i.e., worldwide sensation), we'll be sure you get Free Spirits discount access to tix for the midnight book release, movie premieres, theme park, etc.

But for now, Jill is right. Best to tread lightly in this place where the sparks of creativity and imagination are igniting. In the Broadway musical version of the Pink Star Heist, we might end up with Professor Plum doing a soaring rendition of the new hit single "I've been Rob'd"

p.s. Zoot, no credit to me for that pun! I saw it elsewhere! I swear!

[zootMutant]

p.s. Zoot, no credit to me for that pun! I saw it elsewhere! I swear!

[Rob C]

I didn't think that through did I.

For fear of becoming the latest scapegoat in this sorry saga would an extra 10k for the World Erg challenge would serve as a suitable sacrifice? [-o<

[Jill]

Rob - when Meterboard Mysteries goes big (i.e., worldwide sensation), we'll be sure you get Free Spirits discount access to tix for the midnight book release, movie premieres, theme park, etc.

But for now, Jill is right. Best to tread lightly in this place where the sparks of creativity and imagination are igniting. In the Broadway musical version of the Pink Star Heist, we might end up with Professor Plum doing a soaring rendition of the new hit single "I've been Rob'd"

Barbara, all Free Spirits would not only be entitled to free access etc ( they've suffered enough ) but free shares as well - I don’t think anyone would be willing to pay serious money for them or if they were, then four words of warning:

The ‘ South Sea Bubble ‘ .

I'm sure that some individuals have been also praying that the ‘ sparks ‘ would literally ignite the script … Me included sometimes …

Rob, all your metres have been a valuable contribution to the WEC =D> - row as many as you wish …

Did I mention that the possible new recruit would have been called Jacques Cousteau ...

[Jill]

Brain like a sieve this morning - I like using Text Edit - sometimes though I forget to include quotes. Better late than never.

Can I have some of whatever Jill is on - or perhaps I'm better off without it

I didn't think that through did I.

For fear of becoming the latest scapegoat in this sorry saga would an extra 10k for the World Erg challenge would serve as a suitable sacrifice?

[Rob C]

Did I mention that the possible new recruit would have been called Jacques Cousteau ...

That might have been an interesting twist to add underwater skulduggery into the mix, you could even have had a rubber fetish with all those nice wetsuits for good measure.

Better leave this thread now before I find myself accused of piracy on the Free Spirits seas and being made to walk the plank at the end of Jill's harpoon

[Jill]

That might have been an interesting twist to add underwater skulduggery into the mix, you could even have had a rubber fetish with all those nice wetsuits for good measure.

Rob I have no idea which version of the ‘ Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau ‘ you watched but I’m certain that it wasn’t the version that I watched …

Better leave this thread now before I find myself accused of piracy on the Free Spirits seas and being made to walk the plank at the end of Jill's harpoon

Definitely not the behaviour of someone ( me ) who still loves to watch Captain Pugwash. Sounds more like the actions of a distant relative, Cut-Throat Jill.

Diddle lee dee, Diddle lee dee, Diddle, Diddle, Diddle lee dee …

[Jill]

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Nine

Mr V - a cool customer and suspected by the police of being the mastermind behind the daring O’ceans Gang ...

Actuary, Mb, Mr V is an alias …

Jill, shouldn’t that read “ actually … “

Sorry Mb, slip of the tongue - I’ll start again. Actually, Mr V is an alias - he’s had a few, ( aliases that is, not glasses of wine ) the previous one being the ‘ Brilliant Brilliant ‘ on account of all the successful diamond robberies attributed to the O’ceans Gang but never proved.

Mr V loves numbers - he has that computer like brain that can work out and store endless permutations of keypad codes. Even if Plummy’s keypad combination hadn’t been so obvious, it would still have been child’s play for Mr V.

Why is he now called Mr V

Over the last year, Mr V has been buying up vineyards and vending machines - the ones that dispense crisps and chocolate; economists, financiers and share dealers, think that working alone this time, he’s planning to corner the world market. In order to fund such a huge global undertaking, Mr V would need, to use your phrase, mega bucks, so you can see why my Pink Stars would be such an attraction.

Jill, he sounds like our man, let’s question him and see if he has an alibi.

No need Mb - at the time of the robbery Mr V was in Singapore - passport control and immigration services have verified this; our Gentleman Thief also has a very impish sense of humour. He sent the police a photograph of himself, standing outside the Raffles Hotel.



Mb. It's not funny

Then stop laughing Jill.

Jill, I know that’s another suspect crossed off the list but let’s not become downhearted. Since we started checking everyone out, I’ve been watching the [-o< Reverend Green; all the time he’s been standing there in that voluminous cassock, our man of the cloth has been fervently praying. If you ask me, the [-o< Reverend Green has a guilty conscience about something ...

To be continued …

[CamiCrew]

Later this year we're off to the West Coast of Canada for the fourth time, the Rockies are great for walking in the spring. I really dislike flying however so we try to limit long haul flights.

Sheena I hope you're feeling much better by now, the onion soup should have been a big help! West Coast of Canada sounds wonderful - it must be since you're on your fourth visit. I agree with you on the long haul flights. Ready for transporter beams, please.

That might have been an interesting twist to add underwater skulduggery into the mix

Rob, 'fess up, you're hooked. We'll just leave the rubber fetish comment right where it landed.

Actuary, Mb, Mr V is an alias …

Jill I swear, I get such a good laugh reading what you write. Thanks for that. It's a rare rainy day here, so a cup of tea, shirley biscuits sent by my brother in Barbados, and a dose of Meterboard Mysteries makes for a great afternoon.

Cheers to , whomever he may prove to be.

[Sheena]

Sheena I hope you're feeling much better by now

Thanks Barbara, I am feeling a lot better but unusually for me it has remained on my chest so just some really easy rowing for now.

The plot thickens in the Pink Star Heist, who is Reverend Green

I was a bit slow last week it took me a few days to get the Jacques Cousteau link to Rob

[Jill]

Jill I swear, I get such a good laugh reading what you write. Thanks for that. It's a rare rainy day here, so a cup of tea, shirley biscuits sent by my brother in Barbados, and a dose of Meterboard Mysteries makes for a great afternoon.

It's my pleasure Barbara, that's what I'm here for.

Apparently Shirley biscuits are available in the UK - I shall have to hunt around for some. Staying on the subject of biscuits, Ian thought that you might appreciate the two short videos. Love the eyes.

I was a bit slow last week it took me a few days to get the Jacques Cousteau link to Rob

Glad that you are feeling better Sheena.

Had to choose Jacques Cousteau - when I used to watch Hans and Lottie Hass, I think that our young frogman, Rob, would have still been a tadpole.

Back to the plot tomorrow.

[Jill]

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Ten

Jill, I know that’s another suspect crossed off the list but let’s not become downhearted. Since we started checking everyone out, I’ve been watching the Reverend Green; all the time he’s been standing there in that voluminous cassock, our man of the cloth has been fervently praying. If you ask me, the Reverend Green has a guilty conscience about something ...

To be continued …

I think you’re right Mb. So, [-o< Reverend Green, let’s hear what you have to say for yourself.

[-o< How dare you How dare you call me a safe cracker and a diamond thief Someone has been feeding you false information My conscience is clear

I’m praying and it’s vital that I keep praying … Yes. Vital that I keep praying for the lost soul who committed this unspeakable crime; praying that they will confess their sins and show genuine remorse, so that I can grant them forgiveness.

Then explain reverend, why your fingerprints were found on the keypad of Plummy’s safe

[-o< That’s impossible because I wore glo…

Well done Mb =D> the oldest trick in the book and the reverend fell for it.

It was a bit of a long shot Jill but worth trying - I just knew he was guilty.

[-o< Oh dear. Oh dear. Yes. I’m the lost soul that I must keep praying for and I’m only too ready to confess my sins.

If only it hadn’t been so easy to work out the code for the keypad …

Time for an explanation. I have bats in the belfry.

Jill, does the reverend mean not right in the head ‘ bats in the belfry ‘

[-o< No, Spirit of The Meterboard. I mean that I literally have bats in the belfry.

To be continued …

[Jill]

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Eleven

[-o< Yes, I have bats foraging in the belfry and bats roosting underneath the eaves of the vicarage and bats roosting in a dilapidated Grade II listed part-medieval, part-tudor barn, which after extensive renovation, would make a most attractive and roomy church hall - our present one is an ugly, red brick Victorian building which no one wants to hire for functions etc.

* I was told by the council’s planning department that before they could grant me planning permission, a bat licence - a European Protected Species Mitigation Licence would be required.

Fortified with a large glass of sherry to help me with my research, I soon discovered that obtaining said licence would prove to be a long drawn-out and costly process, a process that threatened the monies being raised for the Church Hall Renovation Fund.

I had just poured myself another generous glassful of sherry to help my thought processes, when the phone rang and on answering it, I heard a man’s voice say, “ I was wondering if you’d like us to come over and sweep your barn for bats Seeing as you’ve gone for planning. “

I replenished my sherry glass again and after draining it in one go, said, “ Sorry, who is this please? “

** “ Never mind who we are, we’ve got all the kit, industrial strength vacuum cleaners, we can suck every trace of bat from your barn, from every crevice. Twenty five thousand quid. Cash. Think about it - we’ll ring you back tomorrow night. “

Oh my goodness. What was I to do Where would I find an extra twenty five thousand pounds It was all so stressful - perhaps another glass or three of sherry - for medicinal purposes you understand - might help … And help it did. So much so, that after downing three more in quick succession, I was euphoric. I was emboldened.

If you ask me Jill, I’d say he was pi….

Mb

I was going to say pie - eyed.

Sorry reverend, please continue.

[-o< Yes, I felt happy and I felt daring. I had formulated a plan that would solve all my financial problems and I was going to carry it out there and then. Whilst I was still sober.

To be continued …

* This licence is not a figment of my imagination - an article, written in The Daily Telegraph by a man named Nicholas Coleridge, under the heading, “ Holy Bat Protection! That’s cost me £10,000 “, gave me the idea for the story.

** No bats were harmed during the making of this batty story.

[Jill]

The Pink Star Heist - Episode Twelve

Yes, I felt happy and I felt daring. I had formulated a plan that would solve all my financial problems and I was going to carry it out there and then. Whilst I was still sober.

[-o< I’d often heard my parishioners talking about your Pink Stars - about how they were made from pink diamonds and how the Gold Stars were made from solid gold and the Black Stars were made from green jade. It’s said that originally, Plummy didn’t like the colour combination of green and gold which was quite far - sighted of him, when you remember that he then had to add pink …

Reverend will you please stop waffling and twittering - that’s Jill’s job. Get on with the story.

[-o< Yes. Well, I’d also heard about Plummy’s rather obvious keypad code … I don’t suppose you have any sherry do you For medicinal purposes again you understand, only I’m in need of some ‘ Dutch courage ‘ …

Reverend, will you please stop being a drama queen - that’s Jill’s job. Get on with the story.

[-o< I thought that’s what …Oh dear. Oh dear. Yes. I need to take a deep breath. Here goes then:

In order to raise the twenty five thousand pounds I planned to open Plummy’s safe steal a Pink Star and sell it and pay the men who phoned me about the bats so when I saw Plummy and his wife Janet go out I sneaked in through the unlocked back door that young man is far too trusting opened the safe where I saw a pink box a gold box and a green box and I picked up the pink box and “ gasp “ then I “ gasp “ heard it “ gasp gasp “ Are you sure that you don’t have any sherry

Reverend, will you quit the heavy breathing and get on with the story Heard what

[-o< A loud squeaking and flapping noise. At first I thought it was my imagination - you must understand that by this time I was feeling very tired and emotional, due to the enormity of my actions.

Like I said Jill, drunk as a skunk.

Mb, let the reverend explain. A loud squeaking and flapping noise

[-o< Yes. A loud squeaking and flapping noise that seemed to be coming from outside the window - it was all extremely unnerving. I was about to open the pink box when the squeaking and flapping noise grew louder and a huge dark shadow blocked out the light from the window. I was terrified

Perhaps it was the window cleaner - mine looks like a Millwall supporter and he’s always terrified the heck out of me.

Mb

[-o< I’ve always had a very, very vivid imagination and in that split second, I knew that Nemesis, in the shape of a giant bat, was about to fall upon me. I dropped the pink box, slammed the safe door shut and ran like a … like a …

Like a bat out of hell, reverend

Mb

Honestly. First giant hamsters and now giant bats. Reverend, fuelled by copious amounts of sherry, it was obvious that your guilty conscience about harming the bats, caused you to hallucinate.

[-o< Whatever it was, it saved me from committing a terrible sin and although I must continue praying for forgiveness, I did not steal your Pink Stars or any Stars

Jill, we only have the reverend’s word that he didn’t steal them.

Mb, the reverend also has an alibi for the time of the robbery- he was in the church, in fact, had been all day, officiating at four weddings and a funeral.

In that case Jill, let’s check out our remaining two ladies - I’m sure that Miss Scarlett keeps saying , “ Yes, I did it. “

To be continued …

[CamiCrew]

Jill I'm all caught up. Fun reading!! Thought for sure it was the pickled Mr. Green. Not so!

MB has had a tough week, starting the new season. Good job recovering MB (and the wizard behind the curtain). And thank goodness no episodes were lost in the 24 hour Forum time warp.

I must admit I've had a few wobbles along the way -

Jill, never doubt your gift for storytelling, marvelous humor, and courage in putting it out here.

I do have a lingering question. What on earth is going on in your garage?

But ...

Darth Vader awaits me in the garage, then it will be back to the plot.

P.s. I had no idea cookie monster has an iPhone Love it.

[Jill]

Jill I'm all caught up. Fun reading!! Thought for sure it was the pickled Mr. Green. Not so!

MB has had a tough week, starting the new season. Good job recovering MB (and the wizard behind the curtain). And thank goodness no episodes were lost in the 24 hour Forum time warp.

Thank you Barbara - after accusing me on several occasions of being a drama queen, Mb needs to set a good example, although despite his past histrionics, he really does have great faith in Thomas’s abilities.

Barbara, I’ve never thought of myself as a storyteller and I can assure you that my courage is pretty non-existent - I know that I won’t be alone when I say that I am by nature, a quiet and shy person. Wish I had a £20 for every time in my life I’ve had someone say, “ Jill, your quiet, “ or “ cheer up love, it may never happen. “ The forum has had a strange effect on me … and like the reverend it’s emboldened me but without the help of the sherry.

I shall always be indebted to Free Spirits - the club has helped me a lot so if I can make one of two members smile or laugh, then that’s great.

The erg = the sound of whoosh = heavy breathing = Darth Vader. Because the erg is in the garage, when people come up the drive whilst one of us is erging …

Who couldn’t love cookie monster - very savvy advertising ploy. =D>

Have a safe journey on Friday - have sent you an email.

[CamiCrew]

That makes perfect sense, and is quite relevant today. May the Fourth be with you!

(Zoot that awful pun has gotten as popular as Pi Day)