An Extra Limerick

[Pepe]

It's approaching that time of the year
When Santa, his sleigh and reindeer
Set off on a ride
Travelling long, far and wide
Dispensing great joy and good cheer

A Merry Christmas to you all.

[CamiCrew]

And to you Philip! Enjoyed the limerick!

I hope Santa is very good to you

[Jill]

Thank you again Philip for all your wonderful limericks - I look forward to reading the first of 2016.

All good wishes for the New Year.

Jill

[Pepe]

All aboard, now, for twenty sixteen
New horizon, new targets, new scene
With sweat, toil and grunt
You could be in the hunt
For some rowing feats quite unforeseen

A Happy New Year to you all.

[Pepe]

Gentlemen:

When you train on a rowing machine
In no time at all you'll be lean
This may raise a laugh
From your better half
Or she may wonder where you have been

[Pepe]

Following on from the "other half" theme in February, here is the reverse side of the coin:

Ladies

The best thing to do to stay slim
Is to train on an erg in the gym
And with the passage of time
Up the MB you'll climb
Maybe threatening the position of "him"

[Pepe]

Overeating: the aftermath

Stocky Simon scoffed sizzling steaks
Cheerful Cheryl chomped chocolate cakes
Genial George gobbled gammon
Smiling Sue swallowed salmon
All await acute ailments and aches

[Pepe]

The triple whammy

When your bank account's taken some whacks
And your credit card's up to the max
There's just one final blow
When the cruel ATO*
Sends a letter demanding more tax

*Australian Tax Office

(I just made this up; it hasn't happened.............yet )

[Paul Victory]

The new season's already begun
And fresh challenges wait to be done
We'll sweat and we'll strain
And we'll suffer some pain
But above all, we'll try to have fun

[Pepe]

There once was a gardener named Fred
Whose roses required a dead head
But Fred was too late
And the ultimate fate
Of the blooms was disaster....'nuff said

[Pepe]

The way ahead - viewed from afar

You've decided to not Posh and Becks it
But have opted instead for the Brexit
Is this just a blip
Or has the great ship
Just selected a course which then wrecks it

[CamiCrew]

Ah Philip. Thanks for the laugh. You do keep a finger on the pulse, don't you? Love the limericks, as I've told you before!

Over my way we still have an hour left of June. But, now that I've read your post, I shall consider it Officially July.

Have a good weekend.

[Pepe]

Another "alphabet limerick", this one running from letter 'c' to letter 'w'


Country dwellers excoriate fracking
Government help is just knowingly lacking
Ministers now oft propose
Quiescent repose
Slow to undertake violent whacking

[Jill]

Thank you again Philip for all your wonderful limericks - I look forward to reading the first of 2016.

Which I did about twenty minutes ago Philip, along with the 2nd, the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th, the 6th, the 7th and finally, the 8th. How's that for self - control?

But then, treats are always worth waiting for. =D>

Paul, you ought to contribute to this thread more often. =D> Hasn't anyone ever told you that you have a way with words?

[Paul Victory]

A challenge I cannot resist
But only if you, Jill, insist
A few words from me
Is what you will see
Until you tell me to desist

[Jill]

I knew that you wouldn't be able to resist a challenge Paul. =D>

I'm not going to tell you to desist - gentle, mental gymnastics are good for you, and besides, it will keep Philip on his ' wordsmith's toes '.

[Paul Victory]

At this hour of the morning I fear
That my poetry skills won't come near
The level required
To make you feel inspired
But I'm doing the best I can, dear

[Jill]

*deleted.

[Paul Victory]

Jill's brain's like a clapped out computer
Solution We'll try to reboot her [-o<
Someone said with a smirk
Could it be Captain Kirk?
No, I guess we'll just have to salute her

[Jill]

Sorry Paul, Not sure how I managed to delete my post? As usual defeated by technology.

Here's a duplicate. More or less - I think I've managed to return using Warp Factor 8 ...

Love yours - =D>

This is called " Still Stagnation of The Brain "

Jill's brain's like a clapped out computer
Solution We'll try to reboot her
Someone said with a smirk
Sounds like my kind of work
If it fails then I get to shoot her

Paul you have inspired me with your creativity - I'm now halfway through The Pink Star Heist - Episode 20 - Mb insists that it must include a mention of mojos.

[Paul Victory]

Sorry! The last two lines were missing from your post. I thought you were inviting me to complete it. On the subject of mojo -

Get Back was a song about JoJo
An erger with plenty of mojo
Oh really? you say
Are you lying today?
No, I'm out having fun on my pogo

[Jill]

Sorry! The last two lines were missing from your post. I thought you were inviting me to complete it. On the subject of mojo -

Apologies Paul - not Chinese limericks after all ...

Somewhere, floating around out there, in the Internet Wastelands, are all my computer calamities. If they should all hook up at the same time, then the most terrifying Weapon of Mass Destruction will have been created.

Rowdeo ( Keeping Your Seat )

A pogo's a wild sort of stick
It will smile as it gives you a kick
But ... With every fresh bounce
You'll lose one English ounce
So ... Staying on board is the trick

[Paul Victory]

Yes, staying on board is the trick
If you're trying to sprint at a lick
Your time won't be neat
If you fall off the seat
You need to stay on to be quick

[Paul Victory]

My limerick today's a bit late
I hope Jill you don't mind the wait
I'm don't feel inspired
In fact, I'm quite tired
Which is why today's poem's not that great

[Jill]

No worries Paul, apologies not necessary.

The following is called Being Human - ( Pic 'n Mix ) Most of us feel like this some of the time. Or is it some of us feel like this most of the time?

In the first line, the word ' inspiration ' can be interchangeable with the words ' motivation ' and ' your mojo '.
In the fifth line, the word ' body ' can be interchangeable with the word ' psyche '.

Inspiration won't always be there
It can vanish. Poof! Into thin air
That's when it's best
To stand back. Take a rest
Then your body has chance to repair